Let's get weird!

Oh, hey, world.

Babs here. I don't really know what I'm "supposed" to be writing about. Or who I'm supposed to be writing to or for.
So.
ZERO FUCKS!

^^That's approximately how appropriate I plan on making this blog. So hide yo' children, hide yo' wife because this ain't going to be your grandmother's blog (see? Look at all the grammar rules I'm already breaking! BAD 2 DA BONE. Suck it, grammatically correct sentences! I live life on the edge).
Anyhow.
Who is Babs?
You mean, besides a grammar-breaking hardcore motherfucker?
She's a 24 year old girl trapped in her own hilarity and ready for the thoughts to spill from her brain onto the internet....you know, like most 20-somethings these days.

And that brings us here. Together. The two of us (are we sharing a moment? I think this is us having a moment. Awww! How cute are we?!). Alone (sexy?).
But I hope you're ready for this adventure you've (clearly) committed to make with me (you're here, aren't you? NOW YOU'RE COMMITTED. BOOM).  Because it's gonna be a good one.

So let's get started. Our first official blog commitment together.

Today I decided something (besides the fact that I was actually going to blog).
I decided that I'm going to write an erotic novel. Not because I like to type out the word penis (in fact, I pondered far too long about typing it out just meow), nor is it because I find sexy books particularly interesting. I've never even read a sexy-times book. Just THINKING about writing an erotic novel on the bus today made me blush. No joke (because what if there was a mind-reader on that bus?! I DONT KNOW THEM AND WHAT SECRET POWERS THEY MIGHT HAVE! They could know I was thinking about doin' it. Even though that wasn't what I was even thinking about. I was thinking about writing about dirty deeds).
But why the hell not? Sexy-times authors make BANK (money in da bank, shawty what ya drank? ...because currently I drink 2 buck chuck and I would like to step it up to 10 dollars wines in the near future...) And also because I have nothing better to do.
Desire for money (wine money!) + a shit load (and yes, that's an exact measurement) time with nothing to do but be alone with my own thoughts = the next big erotic author. OBVI.

So that's where I'm at in my life right now.
2 buck chuck drinking, single lady with nothing to fill her evenings except for writing dirty novels and shoveling food into her mouth.
I think this is what #winning feels like?

So that's that. Now I need to think of a creative pen name so all of my adoring fans won't be able to creep on me on the internet.
Start thinking, you. Because, now that you know, you're in this now too. There's no turning back as we start our sexy, erotic novel journey.
Bitch (that wasn't necessary, I just wanted some profanity for good measure).

PS: I don't think you're a bitch. Please don't leave me. You seem nice...I love you?